This is what I’ve been sitting on this for a week now and the news have been killing me. I got word that I should keep quiet at least until Wednesday, but I wanted to be on the safe side and say something a bit after Wednesday.
If you read my guest post on Booklife Now [The Road to Clarion], you know it took me a lot of effort to apply. I just thought it was too big for me to have a realistic chance to make it in. I had to read and re-read the email I received time and time again to understand that Clarion is happening for me. I’m extremely happy.
Let me stress this some more for you.
I… AM… EXTREMELY… HAPPY…!
Imagine I’m shouting this. For one, this acceptance gave me a boost in confidence that I’m at a certain level in my writing that shows a certain potential (the rejections I keep receiving are messing with my head, I have to admit). And since I live with the constant fear that I’m more or less a phony cause I’m not a native speaker (if anyone knows a cure for this, please tell me) and this acceptance is much need for me to confront myself and my own bullshit.
However, the most fortunate aspect is that I’m a freelance writer and taking six weeks off to go on an adventure like this is possible. If I were stuck on a desk job in Bulgaria, I’d have no way of going, because six weeks are an incredible period of time and honestly, I don’t think most Bulgarian business owners care all that much about their employees’ dreams.
NOW, the only thing in the way is the funding. This is where things get really tricky, because even if I work, given the conversion rates and how new as a freelancer I am, raising the money needed to travel there and cover the fees is impossible for me. Plus, there is no grants system in Bulgaria for artists. I’m still waiting on information from Clarion to learn whether I’m eligible for scholarships and once I know the numbers, I’ll start an IndieGoGo campaign.
So at the moment, I’m halfway to Clarion. But it’s so awesome, I can’t help but smile every day since I saw my acceptance email.