Hi, I’m growing a beard as part of my master plan to reach full potential as a writer. Beards are great – it’s an objective truth… Yes, it’s an objective truth! I’m not biased. Not biased one bit. *clears throat, scratches face* Anyway, come join me on this journey on metamorphosis as I try to hide the fact I look like I’m skipping senior year classes.
Part 1 | Part 2 (you’re reading it)
It’s 5 o’clock every hour on my face.
It’s been precisely one week since I’ve last shaved and the result is the Stubble from Hell – a blight and a challenge solely the bravest (or laziest, depending how much you don’t want to shave) can overcome. I didn’t remember this stage fondly and coming the second time around I still don’t like it.
At this stage, my beard:
• Itches – no, really. Even the slightest touch will trigger a vicious itch. For me, the chin and neck areas are so sensitive, I can’t look down without having to then scratch.
• Plays optical illusions – a beard is a shapeshifter and it all depends on how hairs grow and in what directions. Right now, if you look at me head on, there’s a darker line of hairs that contour an arc from my chin to the base of my neck.
• Randomly decides where to grow – bald spots everywhere. Need I say more.
I’m already looking into beard oil options as a means to minimize the itching and condition the hairs from early on.
*The featured image is a sketch by Megan Jurcak
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